Thanks, Schmuck. Succeed With Etiquette-Based Leadership.
Posted: Thursday, March 27, 2008
by Wally Adamchik
Firestarter Speaking and Consulting
I told them I loved themmost importantly, I thanked them, because that's what a leader does, the last thing you need to do. These are the words of now-retired Michigan football coach Lloyd Carr after his last football game.
Take to the road at rush hour, or hit the mall during some holiday sale. You'll think that rudeness in our society must be at an all-time high. While it may seem like everyone else is taking the low road, being discourteous and inconsiderate, don't use that as an excuse to go there yourself. Be better; take the high road. A friend of mine calls this etiquette; which he defines as helping people feel comfortable when they are around you.
Len Schlesinger, COO of Limited Brands, says, "In an interview, first, I look for passion. Second, interpersonal sensitivity. Do they listen? Do they display a care and respect for other people and their points of view?"
Managers in corporate America are bottom-line focused. They often give orders and expect compliance. The truth is that they don't need to say please and thank you. In fact, some of you would argue that saying those words diminishes your power. I disagree. And so do the three fine leaders quoted above.
Does your behavior create friction, or does it lubricate life? One of the oldest tests in the hiring book is to take the candidate out to lunch to see how he or she treats the waiters and other "little people." People who act arrogantly to those in a subordinate position don't get the job. Yet, one of the primary functions of leadership is to take care of people. Showing respect and saying please and thank-you are ways good leaders do this. There is an old clich that says familiarity breeds contempt. I am not sure about contempt but I am sure about complacency. I think that familiarity breeds complacency. In our work relationships we do get familiar with people. Working in close quarters day after day can cause us to get lazy when it comes to etiquette.
Most managers get promoted into position because they are good at doing the job. Many haven't been taught about leadership. That's something we can all get better at. Your company will not teach you how to be a decent person but, to a great degree, this will determine your level of success. Schlesinger says it best: You can always teach people the skills they need, but if they are a schmuck, they're a schmuck. And I will add that if you are a schmuck in a leadership role, you will not be successful in the long run.
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Top-level comments on this article: (1 total)Great article, Wally and some good info. I agree. Just imagine what the world would be like if everyone treated everyone the way they themselves would like to be treated. And I agree also, that if you're a schmuck you will only be a sucessful schmuck and nothing more. Thanks for sharing. SEG
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